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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?